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Sawdust
The world has turned and left me here.

Age 28, Male

Tool

Manila

Joined on 3/9/07

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Sawdust's News

Posted by Sawdust - July 23rd, 2010


When did our days of running end
We used to run so much
Our soles painted with the colors of the earth
Our hearts open to the world

Never will our hearts fade to black
Our skin shrivel
Never will we look back
And lose our mind's twinkle

We'll be forever young
Until the end we'll have some fun
Calling your name from the end of the hallway
High school everyday

We'll be forever young
Until the end we'll have some fun
Calling your name from the end of the hallway
High school everyday

These cubicles won't hold me back
I'll never enter the days of joyless facts
It's criminal to cage me
Behind a sea of data and green

Never will our hearts fade to black
Our skin shrivel
Never will we look back
And lose our mind's twinkle

We'll be forever young
Until the end we'll have some fun
Calling your name from the end of the hallway
High school everyday

We'll be forever young
Until the end we'll have some fun
Calling your name from the end of the hallway
High school everyday


Posted by Sawdust - June 5th, 2010


Lines intertwining with the vessels of life
Bringing me from dying and entertaining quite
I can't stop these lines from interfering
With the natural process it's rearing in

Lines destroying natural society
Lines bringing me from docility to hostility
These lines don't mean well
These lines don't mean well

But nothing can stop the vessels of truth
Nothing can keep wisdom from reaching you
I can't simply shut up
And you can't simply play dumb

Because you can't stop this thing called
Knowledge
You can't stop knowledge

These lines emerging from my mouth can't seem to stop talking about
Death, and sorrow and gay rights to tomorrow
These lines of dialogue are constantly endearing
To the concept of offensiveness and ruthlessness

And the one place my mouth keeps finding itself in
The one place where my mouth is the opposite of welcomed
It's got to be a church, it's got to be a mall
It's got to be somewhere where it can be heard by all

But nothing can stop the vessels of truth
Nothing can keep wisdom from reaching you
I can't simply shut up
And you can't simply play dumb

Because you can't stop this thing called
Knowledge
You can't stop knowledge

You can't stop knowledge
It's time we figured it out
You can't stop knowledge
So hear me out, right here and now


Posted by Sawdust - May 24th, 2010


see, once apon a time there was this one guy who couldnt seem to eat his breakfast. he could eat lunch, dinner, and dessert, yet he couldnt eat breakfast. no matter how hard he tired the food wouldnt go into him.

so one day he set out on a journey to see someone who could help.
"where are you going steve?" said his wife who had been unsatisfided the prior night.
"Jill, i have had it! It has been too long since i have not been able to eat breakfast. Im sorry honey but i must find someone who can help me. i might be gone a long time so continue on with your life without me"

at that moment he left his wife of three years forever. he knew it would be hard but he had to eat breakfast again. it was the most important meal of the day, lunch and dinner were just add on's it.

steve had stayed in a beat up hotel that night. there were cockroaches and flies all over. he had to get some sleep though, he had a long journy ahead of him.

morning came and he tired to eat some pancakes, yet whenever he sank his fork into those fluffy circles of yum goodness and moved it to his mouth it wouldnt go in. it was as if there was a force feild on his mouth in the mornings. he drove off starvig hoping lunch would come soon so he could eat something.

he drove for hours and hours till it was near lunch time. stopping at a resturaunt near a gas station, he filled up his car and went to get some food.
the place was empty except for the workers and a in the corner with a big scar on his face.
the waitress sat steve in the booth next to the man.

"so, what brings you to this hell hole?" said the man.
"i havent had breakfast and im starving. i can never seem to eat breakfast." said steve as he looked through the menu.
"why not get up early? thats what i do."
steve explained his situation and the man had a look like he was suprised but knew what he was talking about.

"so the curse still exists"
"what curse? do you know something?"
steve forgot about ordering now, he wanted to know what this man knew.
"you have a curse passed down every generation in your family. it all began long ago................thousands of years ago....into the future!...........a a ...a .aaaaaa.a..aaaa.aa.a.a

"MEATWAD! you broke the tv again! thank you very much. now frylock will have to buy another one!"
"hey i didnt break it, your the one that threw me at it."
"why is the tv broken?"
"frylock, meatwad broke it. if he had doged it would still be working."
"did you throw meatwad into the tv again?"
"he said he was the one, the one can dodge bullets, so i would think that he could doge tvs too, so its his fault!"
"i never said i was the one, i said i wanted one, as in one bag of chips."
"wanted one bag of chips, i am the one...they both sound the same so its still your fault"
........
..............
....................
(channel changed)
"today on mythbusters....."
(change channel)
"my name is criss angel...."
(change channel)
"welcome to x-play..."
(change channel)
"beeeeeeeeeeeeep!...."
(turn tv off)


Posted by Sawdust - May 13th, 2010


The sun looked on at me with an expression of peril. It burned fiery holes into the carelessly sewn leather I wore. Sweat dripped from my forehead.

I looked on to the west, watching the road. I stared at the pavement, the frayed road markers, the dustballs. My eyes were witness to the barren landscape and nothing more. I lay still in a prone stance in an old watchtower which would serve as a perch for me, to swoop down on my prey from afar. My stomach lay flat against the baking wood as I patiently waited for my target in the safety of darkness amidst decay. My eye against the scope of my PSG-1 and my conscience at the backburner, I found a silhouette of a man emerging from the horizon. His form broke the still image of the distant landscape. I zoomed in closer with a pair of army grade binoculars, slowly turning its knobs and focusing the image. The form had layers of detail slowly piling up until I could piece together a conclusion as to who this shape was. It was a man; Caucasian, 5 foot 11, 154 lbs. He was wearing a black pinstriped suit. Smart attire, sure, but for this climate it'd be more suicidal than smart to wear a full suit. He wore a plastic smile on his face, the pearl daggers in his mouth reflecting discouraging amounts of light. He walked closer and closer to my tower, closer and closer, until finally...

The scene was then set. A man, armed with a rifle in the security of a decrepit watchtower, and a man down below, waiting to be picked off from afar like fucking deer on a hunting trip.

I switched back to my PSG-1, held its trigger softly, and caressed its metal body, switching off safety. I peeked into the scope again, locking my eyelids with the scope's rim, when I saw that same suited man pointing an identical PSG-1 at my exact position. My stomach briefly did a backflip.

Flashback to the previous day.

12:01 AM. August 4th, 2009.

Smoke swirled about my person. My pale hands were holding cards, my fingers glistened under the hot light above me as light bounced on and off the multiple jewel encrusted rings on my fingers. The light burned. There were three cards in my hand: A King of Hearts, A King of Clubs and an Ace of Spades. 21 in total.

I dropped my cards, uncertain of the consequence. They landed with a 'tap' on a green surface laden with velvet and painted with numbers. After which chips piled in front of me. An artificially endowed blonde woman then said something particularly uninteresting to me involving "cashing in" these chips.

I did so and went through the necessary protocol, and afterwards I had exactly eleven thousand and forty seven dollars.

I took my winnings and bought myself a two night stay at this hotel. I walked through the array of neon lights, cigarette smoke and silicone implants to the elevator.

Carrying my briefcase full of green, I entered the elevator en route to my suite. I stepped in, tapped on the control pad for a bit and headed to floor twenty four of hotel/casino Circus Circus.

The gears bringing me up sounded constantly, and over that hum was cliché elevator music. And faintly under all this ambient noise was the sound of a knife dragging its razor edge along rope. It grew louder and louder, the sound of the edge consuming the fibers that are keeping me from falling to certain death below.

Out of pure paranoia, I dropped my briefcase and removed the maintenance panel on the elevator's ceiling. Afterwards, I produced a Glock and climbed up. I held onto the panel's edge and pulled myself up, I dragged one arm onto the surface of the elevator and did the same with my armed appendage. I then found myself standing on the elevator cell, staring at a slender man in a suit, his face covered by a balaclava, cutting the rope keeping the elevator working. He immediately took notice to my presence, and swiftly disarmed me with some martial arts technique, sending my pistol down into the abyss, discharging it in the process. I heard faint, panicked screams, as if the gong signaling the start of a destiny deciding bout had been struck. So now, I find myself in a faceoff with an unknown assailant, a smartly dressed unknown assailant. Who smelled of roses. Stone roses.

The assailant launched his fist directly at my torso, and I felt my fine silk coat wrapping itself ever so slightly around his fist, which was followed by the raw kinetic energy in his punch throwing me completely of balance. I lost my footing and almost slipped into the vertical shaft of death. I reeled for a moment, recovered and delivered a blow of my own, an uppercut, right to his chin. It connected and I felt my knuckles come in contact with his jaw. He fell backwards in a graceful surrender onto the elevator, creating a resonant thump echoing throughout the empty air.

I stood on top of him and removed his balaclava. I thought the see the rugged face of a thug, but what I saw was the exact opposite; I had a beautiful maiden in front of me, unconscious and defeated by my hands. She was striking. A pearl. She looked so peaceful and serene as she lay defeated on top of the ascending elevator. I felt guilty leaving her to die here, regardless of how it seemed she was out to assassinate me. That feeling of guilt and my... hunger led me to this course of action.

I brought her back into the elevator, still on its approach to the top floor. Exactly when I brought us into the stall, the ascent to the 24th floor was done. The elevator doors opened, light filling the almost pitch black chamber and in front of me was an elderly couple, smiling as they saw what they thought to be a young couple in the elevator. I ignored them and carried the girl and my briefcase to my room. I inserted my keycard into the door panel and it flew open.

I tapped the lightswitches on, turned on the television and put the unconscious woman and my case of green on the bed. I walked around the suite I had just rented, found a few hilariously bad recreations of some classic paintings, tasteless décor, and among other things, a hot tub in the bathroom. I walked back to the bedroom and checked the specifications of the flatscreen television in front of the bed.

Unimpressed, I sat on the edge of the king sized bed I had laid today's loot on. I flipped through the channels on the flatscreen television before stopping at CNN to see that a story on vampire hunters was being ran.

Why the need for vampire hunters, though? To briefly explain the situation, what happened was, that several months ago in Russia, a pharmaceutical laboratory was sabotaged. A group of terrorists exposed the human DNA samples to vampire bat DNA, and to prevent the scientists from detecting the sabotage, they also hacked the lab archives, making sure the control DNA samples all matched the new vampire bat/human hybrid DNA. And eventually the pharmaceutical company came up with the "perfect" batch of weight loss pills, which was of course containing the vampire bat DNA. What the scientists did was take the DNA of people with faster metabolisms and generally naturally healthy and fit bodies, and integrated it with several chemicals that would force the new DNA into the patient's genetic code, overwriting it and eventually making the patient fit and healthy. So they then tested this new weight loss formula on some human guinea pigs, and at first they got the results that they wanted, however, what they didn't expect was for these subrengjects to also turn into killing machines.

The scientists then found themselves with a batch of fifty or so people exhibiting symptoms such as "aggressiveness, accelerated hair and teeth development, increased strength and bloodthirstiness". Not only that, they found that what these subjects had was contagious.

Words flew from the CNN reporter at an incomprehensible rate. I didn't take those in, however they showed slides of some vampire hunters, and one slide showed the familiar face of a maiden, to be precise, the maiden strewn across the bed at this moment.


Posted by Sawdust - May 7th, 2010


Here is a dump for you morons. A dump of my valuable thoughts. Thoughts on what? Thoughts on music. Without the naivete.

This blog will be fueled by the insight Pitchfork has given me, the insight and the wonderful music. Pitchfork has exposed me to a wide range of bands I would never have encountered had I not force-fed myself with their selections of "best new music". Or generally the albums they positively review. Without Pitchfork I wouldn't have the amazing bands Cymbals Eats Guitars, Surfer Blood, Passion Pit, Pavement, OutKast, Futureheads, Fang Island, Dom or Crystal Castles in my library. They'd be... not in my library.

And other than that, there's the matter of my guitar sensei, who not only refurbished all my guitar equipment but is teaching me the fine points of guitar work. Through him I've been exposed to multiple classic rock acts and guitarists. Dream Theater, Steve Vai, Paul Guilbert, Mr Big, shit like that. This music is shaping my musical ambitions into something... amazing.

My musical ambitions? To play in a band, an effective live band known for their amazing soundscapes. I want to mix pop melodies and heavy metal technicality, jazz bass/synth lines and house vocal sampling, singing and lyrics straight from the soul, shit like that. The only thing I look forward to is to make music and to touch people's hearts. That's the dream.

The motherfucking dream.

Here is a dump.


Posted by Sawdust - April 27th, 2010


Being in love.

*sigh*

You know what sucks


Posted by Sawdust - April 19th, 2010


For 14 pitiful years I walked the earth without any particular purpose.

Growing up, the only thing that made any fuckin' sense was music. All I ever did when I was in the troubled teenage years of hormones, girls and high school was listen to friends. I had fuck all, probably just a record player and a couple of cds, that's all I had to my name. I remember, it was the year 1994 when I first got my hands on the debut album of Oasis. I recall getting my mucky fingers on that pristine disc, jamming it in the cd player and just sitting there, listening to it start to finish. How convenient the first song I heard from them was track 1 of Definitely Maybe; Rock N Roll Star. The chorus went "tonight, I'm a rock n roll star." And when I heard the nasal voice chanting that mantra for the first time, I had decided that the only thing in life for me was that, being a rockstar.

So, I saved up for a guitar, and later that year I got a shitty imitation Les Paul with rusted strings and shot intonation. I got a nice, solid practice amp with that too. Afterwards, I just practiced playing my guitar, eventually being able to play Rock N Roll Star and sing it simultaneously after about five months of practicing daily for for hours. That was the biggest success of my teen life, I was mediocre in school and had but a small group of sparse friends, sure, but I could play Rock N Roll Star. That was the fucking shit for me, that was all that truly mattered. I couldn't give a flying fuck about anything else. Rock and motherfucking roll was my life.

And yet, as the 90s progressed, so did my life. I was 14 when I first bought Definitely Maybe in 94, and in 1998, I was 18 and had to move on with my life and prioritize things. My drug slowly faded in relevance as 98' unfurled it's ugly chain of events, music had to take a seat in the back burner while I secured a life I did not want. I wanted the rock star life, and years later I get a part time job at a KFC and a flat shared with equally soulless individuals. My passion's irrelevance ballooned to the point where I had to sell my guitar for rent. That was on November 18th, 1999, the day I officially died inside.

And now I see myself at a dead, psuedosocial gathering of other teenagers whose dreams have been mashed into a fine pulp by the gears of society. December 31st, 1999. The celebration of a new millennium.

'How's it going John?" someone asks me as I lazily sip on a bottle of beer in a corner. I connect the voice to a face and I see Janet. She wanted to be an artist, painting landscapes that would dazzle the world. But now she finds herself also working at Arby's and taking a pre-law course which would lead to a career in law, devoid of any artistic expression.

I smile and mutter a positive response, and she replies with an "Okay," walking away to her boyfriend Rob. Rob's a really funny guy, in fact he wanted to be a comedian. Now he's an accountant.

A party of shattered dreams, overlooking a city of agony illuminated by soulless lights dotting the landscape. Somehow, my coworkers had secured a party on the top of some skyscraper, providing a pleasant view of New york city, specifically Times Square and its gaudy array of neon lights and displays that paint a technicolor landscape of commercialism. However, one specific display of gaudiness in particular that stands out is the massive countdown to the end of the year. My eyes were fixated on it, "let it actually mark something" my mind wished. "Let the new millennium literally be a new beginning, let my life turn itself back to simply music." my soul craved.

And as if the Gods above heard my pleas, lightning struck when the countdown went to zero.

The sky was illuminated by a parade of fireworks and balloons and confetti. The streets below were ripe with life and celebration, and the displays of Times Square sputtered in an out of function, sending out intermittent images, until eventually stopping altogether. I looked back at the party inside and witnessed pandemonium, however. I saw my coworkers in a manic rave as they attempted to bring their cell phones, portable television, personal digital assistants, laptops and such to life. They were all in a frantic rush to resuscitate their beloved electronics. While they were reacting adversely to this phenomena, I had nothing to care about. Everything I valued was with that guitar I sold a month ago. I wouldn't need a cellphone to communicate with, I had my guitar to communicate emotion with. I wouldn't need a portable television to indulge myself in man's latest muses with, I had a guitar to indulge myself in man's greatest art. I wouldn't need a personal digital assistant to remind me of where I was going, what i was to do, I had my guitar to remind me of my dreams and why I still live. I wouldn't need a laptop to do all these things, I had my guitar to do all those things and more.

But where is my darling now? In a pawn shop. I can hear her call now, echoing electric tears to me as she watches society collapse and implode on itself as men litter the streets with their exaggerated war and hatred. As man's sanity faded due to the oncoming onslaught of the Y2K bug's effects, I simply walked down to the pawn shop where my baby lay.

And yet all I found was a mass riot. Fighting, confusion, panic, and faint whistling. A man broke the pawn shop's window, and grabbed my baby from the window display it sat gracefully in. He used it to hurt another man. He wielded it like an axe and collided it's body with man's head. And so did the warheads set off by the Y2K bug.

They collided with the surface of New York, and anything resembling a dream or a glimmer of hope, life and optimism was erased from the surface of the earth.

And the last tune my mind produced amidst the death of millions was

it's just rock and roll.

The End.


Posted by Sawdust - March 30th, 2010


Seeing how you unappreciative faggots don't want to make use of my TALENT *scoff* , I'm just going to write a long blog about how I feel and my views on life.

Frankly, I feel great. Optimistically pessimistic. I love my life, love my friends, love myself and look forward to the next, looking on to the future. THE FUTURE. I hate the future. Like now, NOW IS THE FUTURE. And my days in school were the present. Currently, I'm stuck in a limbo world in between the two points in time, and I have nowhere to go. It's summer now, for me ( TAKE THAT, AMERICA ) and I feel like I'm the only guy with no plans. With nothing to stop me from wasting time looking back to my awesome year. All my good friends are vacationing, and I'm stuck at home, reverting from my social, self-realized self who is humorous, sociable, and incredibly sick, to myself from back when I was that one nerd with no life and little friends. I feel like I'm going back to that pathetic version of me, all because I'm not in contact with my buddies.

If you've known me for say, since 2008, you'd probably notice that I've become a lot less active since then, in the forums especially. Well, for me that is a good thing, that is a great thing. During the year, I merely used NG as means to let me release my thoughts, and go back to them, remember them, and relay them to my pals the next day. NG is no longer a social haven for me, and the only reason I feel attachment to this account nowadays is because all my music is on this one account. I don't care if you don't think it's good music, music is my life, my passion, and nothing will change that.

Another thing making me feel like I'm reverting to my asocial, incredibly annoying 2008 self is that I'm spending too much time on the computer. I fear that before the summer ends I will once again foster feelings for this community, I've let go of all my cares about this site once before, and look where that got me; one step closer to being a social butterfly. I'll never let myself go back to being that pathetic nerd who is always trying to be cool, to be appreciated, to be an individual. No! God forbid that I do that again. This year, first I made friends, then with those friends, I was able to be whoever I wanted to be. I was able to make tons of inside jokes, Oasis related with one friend, classmate related with the other, all with my friends. I had my networks, and at times the networks overlapped, and it was good.

Also, to further enforce my status and state of being as a not-nerd, I have taken up playing guitar, and by taken up I mean started practicing more often. I can play Plug In Baby, and most of Purple Haze, except for the solo because I haven't really listened to the solo, Under the Bridge and Supersonic. I sometimes feel way more fulfilled and satisfied when I play guitar than when I play videogames nowadays, which is something new. Music is eating up so much of my life, it's uncanny. But it's opening up new doorways for me, new planes of reality that I will be able to explore.

And nothing is gonna stop me. Nothing is gonna stop me from living my teen years to the fullest, unlike most of you pathetic worms. Nothing will stop me from living life the way it is meant to be lived, NOTHING!

And on that note, I end my long speech to no one in particular. I'll go back to using the computer now, because my cell phone is fucked, I have practically none of my friends' numbers on it, and I have no get togethers scheduled.

Live Forever

JE

Poopies.


Posted by Sawdust - March 1st, 2010


I'd like 2010 to be a productive year, so I'm going to take requests for the following.

List of satisfied customers

Sigs:

1. None.

Wallpapers:

1. None.

Reviews:

1. None.

Photoshops:

1. None.

Fanfiction:

1. None.

About fanfiction

Due to my limited knowledge of worlds and stuff and how simply looking shit up on a Wiki wouldn't do justice for the plot and etc. I will list whatever I can write. This list is ever expanding of course.

LIST OF SHIT I WILL WRITE ABOUT.

1. Pokemon
2. Dragonball Z
3. Cowboy Bebop
4. Samurai Champloo
5. Avatar ( movie and anime series )
6. Metal Gear Solid
7. Samurai X
8. Fallout 3
9. Dragon Age: Origins
10. Grand Theft Auto
11. Street Fighter
12. Final Fantasy ( don't expect anything too deep though.)
13. Tekken
14. Phoenix Wright
15. Mario
16. Killzone
17. Elder Scrolls: Oblivion
18. How I Met Your Mother
19. Left 4 Dead
20. Kingdom Hearts
21. Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei
22. Half Life
23. Warcraft
24. Starcraft
25. Hey Arnold!
26. Ed, Edd n' Eddy
27. Cow n' Chicken
28. I Am Weasel
29. Dexter's Laboratory
30. Justice League
31. Batman
32. Superman
33. Star Wars
34. Teen Titans
35. Scooby Doo
36. That 70's Show
37. Powerpuff Girls
38. iCarly
39. WWE
40. The Simpsons
41. Family Guy
42. American Dad
43. Futurama
44. Assassin's Creed
45. Finding Nemo
46. Aladdin
47. Lion King
48. Mulan
49. Bug's Life
50. Toy Story
51. Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
52. Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends
53. Star Trek
54. Spider-Man
55. X-Men
56. Deadpool
57. Several bands not limited but including: The Beatles
58. Oasis
59. The Who
60. We Are Scientists
61. Lilo & Stitch
62. Bully ( the game )
63. Red Alert
64. Kids Next Door
65. Johnny Bravo
66. Megas XLR
67. Courage the Cowardly Dog
68. Ben 10
69. High School Musical
70. Internet memes.

If you're wondering why theres kid stuff on there, I will remind you that one huge part of fanfiction is erotica.

Anyway, there's an incomplete list. I'm sure not many people will request for a fanfiction so that seemingly incomprehensive list isn't as incomprehensive as it seems.

Cheers.

<:Request-something-from-ME home page:>


Posted by Sawdust - February 23rd, 2010


Nerdy as it may seem, I will miss school. Obviously though it's because of my friends and my class and so on and so forth. I mean, when this year is over, all the inside jokes established in my classroom will grow to be insipid and generally tasteless, but a distant memory of a happier time past.

All my friends will move on to newer circles, as shall I, and this memorable year of mine, spent mostly outside of NG, mind you all, will eventually fade into obscurity, and become a forgotten work. Eventually I'll forget all about this wonderful year some time in my 50s, and I will forget my classmates and their witty banter, I will forget my teachers and their undying care and dedication, I will forget all the jokes, all the lessons, until finally I forget the significance of this year to me entirely.

I'll miss school, definitely.