Clean vocals ruin it
I dislike heavier kinds of metal, but in some occasions, but when the song is REALLY good, and when it all works to create a sonic representation of anger or something, that's when I can enjoy the song. Sadly, this song does not capture that.
Don't take this review personally, though.
First, I hate the mixing. I produce a lot of music, but I'm still a novice at mixing myself, but even I know that with the right mixing, you can greatly improve a song. I dislike the mixing on this because the guitar really shits all over everything, you could've put a compressor on it and lowered the bass a bit to bring the bass guitar, drums and vocals out.
However, I don't like the music either. The strings alone would've made a much better piece in my opinion, it could pass off as an ambient piece, that's how bad I find this song to be. The riff is probably the only effective thing you've recorded for this song, not counting the rhythm section since it's impossible to fuck those up. Your guitar work on this song was good, except for the solo, that shit was fucking awful. No offense, but I don't know what you were trying to do with the solo, the strings gave me the impression that you were trying to create an epic atmosphere, but the solo sounded extremely amateurish and made the song worse. Sorry. Try something on the pentatonic next time, or even do some tapping for all I care. The growling vocals are alright, but once you go clean the song gets destroyed, you come off as one of those nerds that are the reason why very few people respect metal and why it is not mainstream. No offense.
As for the lyrics, they're so cliched I'm not going to start. It's not a story, it's not quote worthy, and it doesn't add to the song at all. The voice acting was probably the best part of the song simply because the guy sounded like Solid Snake, and Solid Snake performing at a concert would be awesome. Shame though you didn't mix that properly, I kind of made out some clipping towards the end.
All in all, a mediocre song that could only be improved by replacing everything, thus making an entirely new song in the process. Sorry.